


Folded Flags or Missing Arms

by TheSadisticMunchkin



Series: 30 days of AUs you never thought you needed challenge [18]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 30 Days of Writing, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Military, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Castiel-centric, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Human Castiel, I cried at the summary, I cried while writing this, M/M, Sad Castiel, Soldier Dean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-18
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-22 17:34:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3737581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSadisticMunchkin/pseuds/TheSadisticMunchkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He sat in the bench where they first met and he prayed to whatever god there was to bring his boyfriend home.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Folded Flags or Missing Arms

**Author's Note:**

> This is the actual first angst piece wooooooooooooooooooooooh (It's 12 again btw hahaha)

           He watched as families left and right reunited with their respective soldiers. He continued to sit there on the old bench that held so many memories. To think he was counting how many days left until today was only 2 years ago. Now that the day has come, he wishes he never counted at all. It was hope that led him to the base. It was the hope that made him imagine that he will sit here with him laughing all their days away and forgetting.

 

            But he was still here. He twisted the band of metal around his finger, sliding it down ever so slightly but always keeping it close. He was afraid that if he took it off it will be over. It was a silly thing to think really but the ring symbolized a promise. He hoped that he would be able to hold on to his promise because just the mere thought that he won’t walk out of those doors…

 

            Why, Cas didn’t think he would be able to breathe.

 

            He jumped in his seat when his phone vibrated in his pocket and with shaking hands, he answered it. “Hello?”

 

            “Hey Cas. How are you holding up?”

 

            Sam. Always the shoulder to cry on. But Cas was determined to hold his tears in.

 

            “I’m fine, Sam. Dean’s plane hasn’t landed yet apparently. It might take a few more hours.”

 

            “Oh… well then maybe you could go home for a while?”

 

            “I want to be right here to see him, Sam.”

 

            “I understand Cas. Just… eat something while you’re there. Dean will kill me if he finds out you haven’t been eating too much.”

 

            “Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time.”

 

            He hung up on that statement and Cas immediately felt bad afterwards. Sam was just looking out for him, that was all. It’s just that Sam wasn’t Dean. He wished it was as simple as it sounded but it really wasn’t. He knew Sam wanted best for him but he was at his best when Dean was with him. It sounded so desperate and clingy but the time he spent with his soldier before he left… He held those moments close to his heart.

 

            And he hopes to spend more moments with him.

 

            So he continued to sit and wait on the bench, watching as the second wave of soldiers left the base.

* * *

             _“Do you mind if I sit here?”_

_“No not at all.”_

_Castiel looked the man up and down, bringing his knees up to his chin before he cast his gaze back to the entrance of the base. “Who are you waiting for?” asked the man and Castiel wishes he was in the mood for conversation. He only gave the one beside him a side glance before returning his gaze to the entrance._

_This guy was determined to keep talking though and that was fine with Castiel. Just as long as he didn’t have to participate too much. “I’m waiting for my dad. He said he should arrive today. Too bad my little brother can’t see daddy first but the kid has got to go to school, you know?” Castiel grunted in response, tucking his legs in closer to his body. “Sammy is the top in his class right now, which is more than I would have ever said about myself in high school.”_

_Castiel didn’t want to admit that he was getting intrigued by the man’s story about his little brother “Sammy”. But he was so he scooted a little closer and the man sensed his interest, even if it was slight, and continued talking. “So anyway, Sammy is so far a straight A student. We’ve sent dad copies of his report cards every year. He’s so proud of Sam and damn it so am I.”_

_The pure love the man had for his brother was unlike any he’s ever experienced. His voice just radiated with pride whenever he spoke Sammy’s name. Castiel took a bold move and turned his head to look at the man. He smiled at him, giving a small wave as he tilted his head down to look him in the eyes. Castiel decided to play along, waving back timidly and he couldn’t help the blush that adorned his face soon after._

_“I’m Dean, by the way. You don’t have to tell me your name if you don’t—“_

_“Castiel. M-My name is Castiel.”_

_Dean smiled once again, testing his name before giving him the nickname of Cas. He was never given a nickname before. This was new. “So Cas… do you have a story to tell or do you want me to tell you one about Sam and a batman costume?” He sensed that the guy just wanted to humiliate his little brother only slightly after just praising him to a stranger on a bench outside of a military air base._

_“I have lots of stories.” He said softly but Dean’s green eyes lit up in interest and faced him fully. “They’re not very interesting stories.” He confessed but Dean only waved it off with a “No story can be too boring.” So Cas told him his stories. He was talking to someone about anything and everything and it felt really good to talk. Dean was an excellent listener, asking questions at the right moments and reacting appropriately._

_Cas was growing very fond of him._

_“Are either of you Chuck Novak’s kid? I was told someone would be waiting here for him.” Cas looked up at his father’s name and shot up from his seat so fast his vision blurred slightly. “That’s me.” He said and his vision blurred for a whole different reason now. “I’m so sorry, kid.” The American flag was placed in his hands then and Cas felt like he was falling. Falling so far down that he didn’t think he could get up._

_Dean was there to catch him though when he fell on his knees and clutched the flag to his chest. He cried and cried and cried. He let out all the anguish and pain he felt at knowing his father will not come back again this time. He let out the loudest noises of pain and loss and Dean just sat there, cradling him against his chest. He hummed sweet tunes in his ear, knowing that words will do nothing but bring more agony._

_Sometime during his breakdown, the cloth that he was clutching in his fists was no longer the flag but the front of Dean’s shirt yet he didn’t mind the wrinkles at all._

* * *

             _Castiel trusted Dean faster than any person he ever trusted before. Maybe it was because he was there during the lowest point of his life or he tried to make him forget about the impending doom that is the news he received that day but it didn’t matter. Dean was worthy enough of his trust the minute he dried his tears away._

_Dean was also there during his father’s funeral. He barely knew the soldier but he knew Cas needed someone to be strong for him. So he stood by Cas’ side and took him to a secluded area to calm down if ever he sensed another breakdown coming along. Dean was an absolute God-send to Castiel at this point because he would have watered the whole cemetery with his tears if he wasn’t there to help._

_Since he trusted Dean so quickly, it wasn’t a surprise that he would fall in love just as fast. Maybe even faster. Dean took him to the bench in front of the military base every Saturday and they both talked about everything but military. Dean would talk about Sam or his new Auto-Shop and Cas would talk about graduate studies or Doctor Who._

_It was on one of those little trips to that same bench where they decided to talk about love. That talk led to Cas losing control and claiming Dean’s lips. That kiss then led to quite a memorable time and late night confessions. Dean wasn’t the kind of person to just say he loves someone. But with Castiel, he was never more sure that he loved him. He didn’t feel like it was the right thing to do because he was still unstable after his father’s death._

_He loved Castiel because he just loved Castiel. No certain event led him to think this. There wasn’t a specific moment where he fell head over heels for the timid boy who lost his father on the day that they met. He just knew the moment that Cas kissed him that whatever it was that he was feeling whenever he was around him was love. He fell just as fast for the blue eyed angel like Cas did but Dean guarantees that he probably fell harder._

* * *

             _Something was off with Dean. It wasn’t in the way he makes love to him because he gets better and better every time. It wasn’t in the way he looks at him because he looks at him as if he was the most beautiful person on the planet. He was… distant? Dean was a very handsy guy by nature. He would absentmindedly run his hands through his hair or play with his fingers when they would watch TV together._

_So when he anticipated those course fingers to run through his hair when they were watching Tangled, they didn’t come. He was confused. Did he do something terribly wrong? Was he boring in bed? Does Dean not – “Cas, can I talk to you for a minute?” Here it comes. He didn’t know if he should prepare to cry or not but Dean’s long silence has him all antsy._

_“Dean, what’s wrong? Did I do something?” He asked, running his own fingers through Dean’s hair for a change and Dean looked at him in surprise. “Oh sweetie, no. You didn’t do anything but be amazing.” He reassured his boyfriend, still smiling sadly at him. The suspense was killing him, truly. “Then what is it?” Dean looked down at his hands, wringing them nervously before looking up at his boyfriend once again._

_The way he was looking at him, it was like he was almost memorizing each feature. That’s what scared Cas even more. “I’m… Cas, baby, I enlisted in the army.” Just as the world was feeling lighter, Cas’ muscles gave out and the whole world came crashing down on him. Dean was enlisted in the army. Dean was going to fight with actual guns, knives and grenades._

_Dean was going to leave him._

_The realization struck Cas like lightning and he was looking at his boyfriend in disbelief. At first he was so shocked on to why he would do this. Then second he was so very angry at him for doing this. Then third, he was swimming in his own despair at the thought that Dean might not come back like his father. “You’re leaving me.” He stated, cold and monotone. Dean tried to take his hands but he only pulled them away roughly._

_“You’re leaving me like…” He swallowed, standing up to pace absentmindedly. Dean was too saddened to try and move from his spot. He watched his boyfriend process things in his head. He could only watch because if he tried to touch Cas now, he wouldn’t know what could happen. A few minutes of pacing passed and Cas abruptly stopped in front of him. He turned his head, tears making his bright blue eyes almost as dark as storm clouds._

_“You’re leaving me like father did!” He yelled, suddenly pouncing on top of Dean and beating his fists on to Dean’s chest. Dean took the hits, knowing that Cas needed to blow it all off. “I hate you, Dean Winchester! I HATE YOU!” Dean knew Cas did not mean any of that. It was the anger and the fear talking so Dean stayed patient, still taking the weak blows to his chest. The blows may have been weak to his chest but they struck him right to the bone._

_“I hate you… I h-hate you… I… don’t hate you…” he slumped against Dean on the couch, sobbing violently on to his shirt. He clinged to his boyfriend tightly, thinking that if he held on tighter he would stay longer. But god damn it Cas knows that’s not true. “Dean, I love you so much.” He finally said and Dean let one tear fall down his cheek, kissing his beautiful boyfriend on the crown of his head._

_“I know, sweetie. I love you too.”_

* * *

 

_For the next week, Cas did not let him leave their newly shared apartment and Dean did not object one bit. He did everything he could to make Cas feel better. The night he told him he was going to the army was emotionally and physically draining for his boyfriend so he made sure that he was well rested._

_Dean learned only a few weeks before that nearly every male in Castiel’s family enlisted in the army. His brothers barely made it. His cousins were grazed at the least and his father… oh he knew what happened to his father. So telling Cas that he also enlisted in the army was a risk he knew he had to take. He didn’t want Cas hating him the moment he left for training._

_He never wanted Cas to ever hate him. He could never bring himself to stop loving Cas. That was why he was going to join the army, it was to make sure that even for the tiniest bit he can protect Cas against anything. He knew Cas was a big boy and he was capable of pinning him down in an impromptu wrestling match. But he needed to be aware of more dangers outside and he needed to be ready for anything._

_Call him paranoid or crazy but Dean just likes to call himself in love._

* * *

 

_“Cas?”_

_“Hmm?”_

_“I want you to have this.”_

_Dean pulled out a small silver ring from his pocket and he saw Cas’ eyes widen. “It’s my mother’s ring. I want you to have it, wear it for me.” He handed the band of silver to Castiel, who slipped it on shakily but kept a smile on. “Why are you giving me your ring, Dean?”_

_He chewed on his bottom lip for a short while before answering. “It’s like a promise. I promise to try and come home to you, limping leg or missing arm if you promise to wait for me.” Cas’ eyes were filling with tears but he refused to let them fall in front of Dean. This was the last time they were going to see each other for 2 years. He was already counting the days until his return. He grabbed the front of Dean’s camouflage shirt and kissed him fiercely._

_“That’s already a given, love. I’ll always wait for you.” He whispered, peppering Dean’s face with a million and one kisses to match the freckles that adorned his face. Dean returned the gesture with more amounts of enthusiasm, getting a giggle from his beautiful boyfriend. “I love you.” He whispered against Cas’ hair when they hugged for one last time and Cas kissed him again in response._

_He watched Dean walk away, tears threatening to fall the farther away Dean is from him. He twisted the ring on his finger, holding his hands close to his chest. Cas stood there for God knows how long before he sat on the bench where they first met and prayed to whatever god there was to bring his boyfriend home._

* * *

 

            It was nearing nightfall and the third and final wave of soldiers have not returned yet. Him and the rest of the families waiting were going rigid in worry. Cas especially was trying very hard not to fall asleep because he knows that if he closes his eyes, he might miss it all. He might miss Dean and he would embarrass himself.

 

            “May I sit here?” Cas looked up sharply, expression softening when he saw it was a young woman no older than 25. “Go ahead.” He said, his voice suddenly very hoarse from the lack of use. “So who are you waiting for?” she asked, bringing her flimsy cardigan around her frame tighter. Cas looked at her for a short time, bringing his knees up to his chin.

 

            “My boyfriend.” He said rather boldly, prepared to take any shit she would throw at him. Instead, she nodded in understanding and wrapped her cardigan even tighter around her. “Me too. Is that a promise ring?” she pointed to the thin band of metal he was twisting on his finger and he nodded, bringing it up slightly so she could take a closer look. “He gave it to me the day he left. He promised to come back even if he had a missing arm.”

 

            The girl let out a breathy laugh and Cas cracked a smile. “With a promise as specific as that? He will definitely hold you up to it.” The encouraging words of the girl gave him newfound hope and hope really was the reason why he’s still sitting on the bench after 6 hours. He looked away from the girl for a second and almost choked when he saw several soldiers walking out of the base.

 

            There were a significantly fewer amount of soldiers than the other two waves and everyone else noticed that too. Amongst the soldiers were men in adorned uniforms with folded American flags in their hands. Cas tried to not let the tears show again because Dean was probably just late. He is not getting an American flag. He is _not_ getting one. He is not…

 

            As he repeated his mantra in his head he saw one of the adorned soldiers walking towards him and the girl with a flag. Cas immediately sat back down on the old bench, trying in vain to keep his tears from flowing. He didn’t want to take the flag. He would much rather rip the flag apart. The man then was close enough for them to see his grim face. Cas noticed that this was the same guy who gave him the flag when his father died.

 

            Cas shook his head slowly, looking helplessly at the flag as it was being reached out. “I’m so sorry kid…” the man said, handing the flag to the woman beside him. He blinked his eyes rapidly as the woman let out the pained wails of a lost loved one that he knew all too well. He wanted to reach out, comfort her the way Dean comforted him. Just as he was about to kneel down, he heard footsteps coming towards him.

 

            No way.

 

            Cas stood up, hoping his eyes weren’t deceiving him. He rubbed his tears away and squinted in the distance at the figure walking towards him. Cas’ vision finally cleared up good and he still could not believe the sight before him. Limping slightly with a duffle bag over his shoulder was Dean Winchester. Cas wanted to shout and jump for joy. Instead, he ran to his boyfriend. “Dean!” He yelled and Dean recognized him immediately, dropping his bags to the ground and met Cas halfway.

 

            He lifted his boyfriend up in his arms, turning them around before settling Cas down slowly. Cas wrapped his legs around his waist, clinging on to him like a koala bear and Dean couldn’t help but laugh. “I missed you, you adorable nerd.” He said, voice thick with tears. Cas let out a relieved laugh too, pressing a billion and one kisses all over Dean’s face. “I missed you too.” He said, leaning his forehead against Dean’s

 

            “I told you I’d come back, sweetie. I’m so glad you waited.”

 

            “A promise is a promise.”

 

            “It sure is. Now let me kiss you. I haven’t tasted you in two years, I’d like to be re-informed.” Castiel was more than happy to oblige to Dean’s wishes, pressing his lips gently against Dean’s own. He savored the taste of his lips, his touch, his breath and the way his hands kept him from falling.

 

            Later on, when Cas was fast asleep, Dean laid awake, watched his boyfriend in the most peaceful slumber and was so grateful he was able to come home.

**Author's Note:**

> *hands you a cup of tea and drapes a blanket over your shoulders*


End file.
